I started going to a new gym but noticed everyone acted as if I didn’t exist – then what the personal trainer said next left me fuming

A woman who started going to a new gym has claimed she was repeatedly ignored by other members – including a personal trainer – before being criticised for speaking up about it.

Mel Reeve said she joined a group fitness studio at a Sydney gym hoping to meet new people and feel part of a ‘community’, but instead found herself feeling isolated from the start.

‘I was genuinely trying to connect and open up to people but every day people ignored me and acted like I didn’t exist,’ she said.

She claimed that even when she made an effort to introduce herself, the response was cold. According to Reeve, she would approach other women in class to say hello, only for them to walk away mid-conversation or avoid engaging altogether.

The situation escalated when she tried to raise how she was feeling, telling another member she felt there was ‘no sense of community’ in the space. 

On its website, the gym says it offers a ‘unique community environment’ with ‘dedicated’ coaches by your side to ‘motivate, educate, inspire and push you to achieve your goals’. However, Reeve said her experience fell short of expectations. 

‘A personal trainer and a girl (another gymgoer) completely demonised me when I said there’s no sense of community,’ she said.

Reeve claimed a personal trainer dismissed her concerns and challenged her perspective.

‘He tried to tell me that it’s my opinion and my experience is not valid,’ she said.

She said the exchange began when she attempted to have a ‘meaningful conversation about community and connection’ with another female gymgoer, but was instead shut down and made to feel like she didn’t belong.

‘For some reason she was hell bent on letting me know I have no power or authority because I’m new – that’s proper disgusting culture,’ she said.

‘We go to group fitness to be a part of a community not to be ostracised and judged and told we’re not welcome because we’re speaking up about feeling uncomfortable.’

Her experience has divided people online, with some backing her version of events and others suggesting the situation may have been misunderstood.

Several commenters defended Reeve, including a former gym owner who said she had previously been a member at their studio.

‘As a former gym owner and someone who’s had Mel as a member before, I can honestly say she’s always been nothing but a positive force,’ they wrote.

‘Great energy, always connecting with people, and genuinely made the space better just by being in it. Our members loved her, the coaches loved her.’

Others agreed that group fitness should feel inclusive.

‘That’s what group fitness is meant to be about at the end of the day, community, supporting each other, lifting each other up and creating an environment where people feel like they belong,’ one person said.

But not everyone saw it that way.

Some suggested the clash may have come down to different personalities and expectations, with some gym-goers preferring to train quietly without social interaction.

‘You are an extremely extroverted person … the people around you are not and like to train in silence,’ one commenter wrote.

Another added: ‘Some people already have great friendship groups and just because you’re attending the same studio doesn’t mean you’re automatically going to fit in.’

Others argued the criticism of the gym itself was unfair, saying members attend for their own reasons.

‘Walk away instead of slamming a small business and its members who are there for their own reasons, which may not include socialising,’ one person said.